Internet Memes on adventures of an omnomnomnivore in NYC

Culinary School: Why I’m making the worst food of my life

Tue, 04 Mar 2014 13:06:33 -0500

Nights in culinary class move in a dance of steel and time pressure. Yank out the wishbone. Quarter the chicken. Sear the skin. Chop the mirepoix. Simmer the stock. Strain the sauce. Pull the chicken from the oven. Plate the food. Run to the front. Hope for the best.

Chef Ray glanced at my plate of poulet sauté chasseur (hunter-style chicken) and gave me a hard look. “I think I’ve told you this before,” he said. “This plate. What’s wrong with it?” I looked down at my chicken. Among the finely shredded flakes, there were some unruly tufts of parsley perched on top, shamelessly advertising their prowess at escaping my knife. “I know, I know,” I apologized, “the parsley isn’t chopped small enough. And there’s some pieces of stems.”

Real Life Adventures: The Lost Photos in a Blizzard Guy

Mon, 06 Jun 2011 12:58:09 -0400

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dmop7EAY1Zg]

Last Friday, I met Todd Bieber, a dude who found a canister of film while skiing in Brooklyn’s Prospect Park. In a male Amelie sort of twist, he developed the photos and set out to find the photographer by making a Youtube video about the contents. The video was witty, honest, poignant in its recognition that this adventure was much too fantastic to continue. Suddenly, it had racked up a million hits and Bieber was swamped with emails postulating on who the photographer could be. After a few months of fruitless leads, a breakthrough: he received an email from the photographer and immediately booked a ticket to Paris to return the film to the girl who had lost it.

WWOOFing with Double Rainbows

Sun, 08 Aug 2010 07:08:07 -0400

In case you’ve been living inside a subway tunnel, the internet has been abuzz this summer with the Double Rainbow guy, who rose to fame after his YouTube video freak-out at seeing a double rainbow went viral. You can cringe, laugh and cry with him as he goes to crazy town, shouting “OH MY GOD,” “WHOAAAA” and “What does it MEAN?!?” on camera.

In this interview with Jimmy Kimmel, Double Rainbow Dude “Bear” Vasquez claims not to have been on any drugs or other mind altering substances in this video (but not others). As it turns out, he runs a farm in Yosemite, and when Kimmel asks “And how do you get women to come up there?” Vasquez replies, “Um, a lot of them come through WWOOF, that’s Worldwide Organization of Organic Farms…actually today there’s seven European girls that are staying at my house right now.”

Lunch

Tue, 11 May 2010 19:55:15 -0400

Excerpt from the consistently excellent webcomic Pictures for Sad Children

One of the best parts about my job is that the people I work with tend to be smart, funny and generally likable (when they’re not purposely being assholes). In particular, it’s nice that there is a large contingent of other AEs, who each have a broad array of quirky interests and backgrounds. This translates into fairly entertaining lunchtime discussions, which leap from Hegel to how to escape from a locked trunk in a matter of seconds. I’m not sure what everyone else talks about at lunch, but we jokingly call ourselves the “Witty Banter Table,” and I’m pretty sure we’re the most hilarious lunch table EVER.

Lunch

Tue, 11 May 2010 19:55:15 -0400

Excerpt from the consistently excellent webcomic Pictures for Sad Children